10 Rules for Safe Anal Sex
by Jack Morin

Jack Morin, PhD, a San Francisco sex therapist and researcher,is the author of AnalPleasure and Health.

Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of menand women - straight, gay and bisexual - are experimenting with anal sex.The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with themain pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitalsand contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years ago, Kinseystated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of thepopulation. In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the menand 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse.

Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learningabout the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are the ten things most menand women still do not know about anal sex.

1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.

There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniquesinclude touching the anal opening while masturbating or stimulating a partner'sanus during intercourse or oral sex.

Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's- insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may preferthe insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and shortanal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including hetereosexuals,prefer this form of penetration.

Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgustssome people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probedin this special way.

2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if doneproperly.

The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurtis a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in the body indicatesthat something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With itshigh concentration of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agonywhen it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of great pleasure.

When a finger, object or penis is intorduced into the anus, the analmuscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain will resultif the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficientstress they will eventually collapse and the pain subside, unless furtherdamage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activityderives mostly from the absence of discomfort.

Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physicaltrauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passivepartner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed.Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped alongby plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire.

Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive partner isstill not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only in proportion to thedegree of receptivity.

3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortablein the past.

Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable analsex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous experience always the reason fora lack of interest in or desire for anal sex.

Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort duringsex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually a sign of this condition.Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiarwith it. An ideal time to explore the anal opening is while taking a showeror bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the anusand the letting go in another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoysmasturbation might want to experiment with some form of anal stimulation,though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs.

For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partnerto massage the anus with the understanding that intercourse will not beattempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely onthe pleasure that this erogenous zone is capable of generating.

4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround the anal opening.Each functions independently.

If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and pressyour fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphinctermuscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincteris controlled by the central nervous system - just like the muscles ofthe hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter wheneveryou want.

The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlledby the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous system, which governssuch functions as heartbeat and stress response.

The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety duringanal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up automatically even if thepassive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety andcomfort are essential here.

Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she maystill need to learn voluntary control over his or her internal sphincterin order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger,perhaps in the shower each day, and feeling the internal sphincter. Themuscle changes spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance,simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyonecan gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at will.

5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of pleasure

The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal openingitself. A finger can focus on them especailly effectively. When an objector penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasuresare involved. The outer protion of the rectum, like the vagina, has severalnerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure.

Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understandthat these sensations do not presage an impending bowel movement. Rectalpressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form ofanal sex in which several fingers or een the entire hand and forearm areinserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower colon.

In men, the protate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inchesin, towards the front of the body - can be a source of pleasure when massagedby a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or"bulb," is near the anal opening opening. It is stimulated indirectly bymost types of anal sex.

Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal tabooadds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common anti-anal message(it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement.Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly- and delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret,special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.

6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm

A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex withoutdirect genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic musclecontractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement ofbeing anally penetrated. When men expereience an orgasm from anal stimulation,they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they are also responding toindirect stimulation of the penile bulb.

Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participantsbecome thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies. An lmostcertain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to haveone. Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure.

It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulationin order to climax. On the other hand, a few people have orgasms only withanal stimulation.

7. Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal sex

Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum.There must be sufficient fiber in a person's diet to make his or her fecessoft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be producedwithout force or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causingdiscomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits, vegetables, wholegrains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fiber.

8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the vagina and rectum

Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume the thesame rules apply for the penetration of the vagina and rectum. Althoughboth are lined with soft tissue and are capable of expanding, they areradically dissimilar.

The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which connectsthe anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of thebody. A few inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90 degrees.Then, after a few more inches, it swoops toward the front of the body onceagain. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gentlyinserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions andconcentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base sothat if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become irretrievable.

The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only a smallamount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetration always requires a lubricant.Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible.

The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces.But feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to abowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum, expeciallyif the feces are not well formed. Anal douching before lovemaking willhelp some people especailly concerned with cleanliness to relax. For othersthe idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douchingis anti-erotic.

9. Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of dominance and submission.

The top-bottom imagery associated with anal intercourse is widespread.No doubt the belief that anal sex has to hurt contributes to this notion.And in fact some people are intensely excited by top-bottom fantasies aboutanal sex. The thought that they are submitting to such a degrading actis a terrific thrill. However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain can leadto trouble.

For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is inhibited by top-bottom imagery.The idea of surrendering control, and perhaps submitting to humiliation,causes immediate, protective tensing of the anal muscles. These individualsare more likely to relax and enjoy themselves if they can learn to regardanal sex as pleasurable rather than as an expression of power.

10. Anal sex can be perfectly safe, even beneficial.

The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated by the almost universalbelief among physicians that anal sex is inevitably dangerous. No physicalinjury from anal stimulation results if both partners refuse to toleratepain, never use force and avoid the use of drugs.

All the other risks center on sexually transmitted diseases. Each ofthe common STDs - gonorrhea, syphillis, herpes - can affect the anus. Intestinalparasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are usually passed along when fecal matterfinds its way into someone's mouth or vagina, most likely through rimming.

AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus can pass from the semenor blood of an infected person to the bloodstream of a partner througha tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal intercourse.

To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming should not be practicedcasually. Those who do enjoy anal intercourse should always use a condom.Rimming should always be accomplished by a latex barrier. Of course, ina monogamous realtionship with two healthy people, the risk of diseasetransmitted anally is reduced.

Thousands of men and women with chronic anal medical problems have restoredtheir anal health by challenging their negative attitudes. This approachis indespensible for full erotic enjoyment of the anus.